Good Friday

Joyous Transformation: Love Dance; 2005

In the last few months, I have been moved to actively seek ways through which I may transform my life for the better. Oftentimes, experiences of trauma inhibit life, and we become drones of lifelessness and stagnation. The few times trauma becomes a tool of empowerment, self-reflection occurs, and we provide ourselves with opportunities to take accountability for our actions and meditate over how we contribute to our own circumstances, as we desperately seek light in the darkness: growth and transformation.

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea that I would be embarking on this journey to document my process of self-love, self-care, reflection, and change. In honor of Good Friday, I read a few meditations in search of inspiration--the first set of words that drew tears were these:

"Rather than do the tough work of reflecting on our attitudes and actions, we simply do what we want and, if people are hurt in the process, we wash our hands, while claiming Christ’s forgiveness ... Rather than take responsibility for our brokenness and destructiveness – which would open us to the possibility of real transformation – we simply wash our hands and claim the forgiveness of Christ. It frightens me when Good Friday becomes the excuse which turns Christianity into an escape from responsibility and self-reflection" (Godspace; Washong Hands: A Reflection on Good Friday; April 19, 2011).

After meditating on this notion of self-absolution and acknowledging that it's sometimes easier to play the blame game or to wallow in feeling like a victim, I cried a little. I wanted to be proactive about the changes I sought for/in my life and was contemplating the multitude approaches I could take. Overstimulated and impacted by my inability to sit still, I visited Amherst College's website, and at this moment, I don't exactly remember why the interest, other than that my sister will matriculate in the fall, and I was curious. But of course, why I went to the website seems so irrelevant now in context; I sought for some truth or confirmation (subconsciously) and found it, or perhaps it found me--this is where I came across Amherst's "Lives of Consequence" campaign, which set off this chain reaction within: what is a life of consequence? Who has a life of consequence? How do I attain a life of consequence?...I decided to start this blog to track lives of consequence from which I (we) may learn, for we are all connected to one another and the universe, and this may be a way through which I may master my own life.

So in honor of Good Friday, I'm acknowledging that it is not enough to pray/meditate/reflect, whatever you prefer, and hope that whatever force with whom or which you are aligned will deliver you from yourself and your circumstance. The healing is in the ownership of accountability and taking responsibility for our own actions and circumstances, though difficult. The healing is in the awareness therein, and the proactivism that hopefully, follows the acknowledgment. It is no longer enough to wash my hands of the confronting truths and to claim the forgiveness of a larger force. For those of us who are Christians, or have some Christian values, or practice Christianity, for all of these classifications are different, let Good Friday be a day of reflecting on our brokenness from whence potential and transformation may come. For those of us who do not identify with Christianity in any way, let this day be a day of taking accountability for actions that may have resulted in less than optimal circumstances, for life often lives within the lifelessness and is waiting to break free!